It was easy to say we’ll never buy from Starbucks again, but it put a lot of thoughts in my mind that I have never thought about.  First, trying to figure out why companies need to take stands on things that don’t directly involve their business.  Importation taxation, fair trade coffee and the like are issues that relate to the business of Starbucks and make more sense to me than using their “guiding principle” of diversity to reach beyond the coffee world.  If a CEO wants to support political issues with his words and money, that is a better avenue to make a stand.

Secondly, I began to wonder how much business decisions should affect my purchases and if so, how do I find out what companies believe and support.  Starbucks is easy to pass over since there many other coffee shops.  In my looking for articles to link to in this post, I found out Microsoft and Nike supported the same bill Starbucks was supporting.  Nike is easy since I own nothing from them.  However, this post is being typed using a Windows 7 operating system and giving up Windows will be a much harder thing to do.

I am left with wondering how much influence company ethics and political views should have on my spending habits.  What do you do, if anything?  One thing is for sure, I am going to be more aware of where I spend my money (and I don’t want any gifts cards to Starbucks anymore).

Footnote about gay marriage: I firmly believe that marriage is between one man and one women.  And while I don’t condone the lifestyle, homosexuals should not be ridiculed as individuals.  The line is clear on marriage, but it’s a little more difficult to explain in individual relationships.  Maybe a post for some other day….

The temple/ tabernacle was designed and purposed back in Exodus, though it had been rebuilt by the days of Christ.  Solomon puts it all so well when he finishes building the more permanent temple in the Promised Land. “But will God indeed dwell on the earth? Behold, heaven and the highest heaven cannot contain you; how much less this house that I have built! “ (1 Kings 8:27) The temple was not so that God could have a place to live (1 Kings 8:28-30), but for our good, so that God can be near us. And when we turn toward the temple we would remember God is with us and listens to us and forgives.
The temple was about us having a good relationship with God.

The curtain was made to look just like the others that made up the temple, with blue and scarlet and purple fine yarns and “with cherubim skillfully worked into it.” (Exodus 26:31) But there was something special about this curtain; not how it looked but the purpose it served. “The veil shall separate for you the Holy Place from the Most Holy.” (Exodus 26:33) Why was the separation needed?  Here are just a few examples of people who got a little too close to God and His holiness.

• Moses asks to see God’s glory. God says He’ll show Moses His back, not His face. Otherwise he would die. (Exodus 33:17-23)
• Moses comes down from the mountain after talking with God and his face is shining. Not like a light around his face, but the skin on his face shone, so bad that Moses had to veil his face so he could interact with the Israelites. (Exodus 34:29-35)
• Little background- the ark of God was housed in the Most Holy place, unless it was in transit. Once while in transit, the oxen carrying the ark stumble and good little Uzzah tries to keep the holy ark from touching the ground. But God gets angry because he touched what was holy without being clean. Uzzah died on the spot. (2 Samuel 6:6-7)

The curtain was to keep us from death, distancing us from God.

So what? God had promised that He would change the way things were done in regards to our relationship to Him. The old way was sacrifices and laws and a God who dwelled in a temple. The new way promised an internal law on our hearts (Jeremiah 31:33), forgiveness for all our sins without constant sacrifices (Jeremiah 31:34, Isaiah 53:6,12), and a personal relationship with God (Jeremiah 31:34). Jesus Christ was the means to this new way of doing things. His death replaced the need for constant sacrifices. God accepted the blood of goats and other animals as a sacrifice worthy of making us clean. Then He provided the perfect sacrifice- the blood of Jesus (Hebrews 9:13-14). At the moment of his death, all our sins were forgiven and we were made clean. There was no need for the curtain anymore as separation from God and His glory. So God got rid of it, hence the tearing from top to bottom.
It’s all about having a close relationship with God!

It’s not what you do: Sports talk
Very few people in the sports talk world give Tebow any credit for his playing ability.  He doesn’t pass well, he squeaks out wins rather than dominating, he isn’t versatile, on and on and on. And they have a point.  While he was 8-6 (win-loss) in his two years with Denver, his passer rating is 75.1.  As comparison, in the last two years Manning has played with the Indianapolis Colts, he had a passer rating of 95.9.  (To give you an idea, the highest ever for a season is 122.5).  Yes, Tebow had some wins and took the Broncos to the playoffs.  But his skill is just not that great.  I’m sure I could spill over stats that show he’s not great at what he gets paid to do, but I’m not that big of a fan, that big of a stats nut, and that’s not my point.  Suffice it to say, Tebow is not that great at what he does.

But how you do it: General public
John Elway, Broncos former quarterback and current executive with the team, said it best “Tim Tebow is a great kid. If I want someone to marry my daughter, it would be him.  But I think with the opportunity to have Peyton Manning’s services, we had to take advantage of that.”  I have overheard at least people at work talking about Tebow leaving and how bad a decision that is and what a great guy/player he is.  While that may be unfounded (see above), why do some people talk this way?  It’s because he plays with character, heart and courtesy.  I have yet to hear anything mean or biting out of Tebow’s mouth (though I admit, I may just need to get out more).  The way he plays is what has drawn so much attention to him and gotten people to rally behind him, even if they don’t follow football.  From “Tebow-ing” to his well spoken interviews to his good looks, he has caught nearly everyone’s attention.  Love him or hate him, you know him for HOW he plays and lives.

So what?
What do you do?  What is your job, your daily tasks?  It doesn’t matter what you do or how well you do it.  People will take notice if you do it with honor, integrity and character.  Strive for that in everything you do and people will notice.  It will make the tasks you do appear even greater because of how you do them.

Most people will respond back “What do you mean ‘relationship’?” Here are examples of answers that would fit the question. “What is your relationship with God?”

Like my relationship with Casper the friendly ghost- I don’t believe in ghosts but they make for fun little stories.

Like my relationship with Erin- we were best friends when I was younger but we haven’t spoken since then. And I really don’t care to start that relationship again.

Like my relationship with the Queen of England- I know she’s out there but what she does has no influence on my life. So I really don’t care.

Like my relationship with President Obama- I don’t know him personally but I don’t like what he does. I want to avoid him at all costs and get him out of my life (sorry for the politics, but it made for a good example)

Like my relationship with my distant family- They are family and I love spending time with them once every year or two. But I’m not really close to them and I don’t have the desire to build that relationship.

Like my relationship with Sarah- We get along well but it is a long distance relationship and requires work to get to know her better. Therefore, the friendship gets dropped to the side.

Like my relationship with my husband- I love him greatly and know much about him. But there are still many things I don’t know. It’s not enough to know him as I do now. I want to (and am excited) to get to know him, to be able to love and serve him without having to ask how.

Those are just a few examples of possible answers. There are many different relationships in our lives. What is your relationship with God?

For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God.  You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child.  But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil. ~Hebrews 5:12-14

What I’m not saying: I am not calling all Christians babies, living on milk and unskilled in righteousness.  I am not knocking those who feed on milk or those who provide the basic teachings.  I am not saying the Christian basics are not truth.

I led a small group with girls from my dorm in college and for one semester, we looked at commonly quoted passages.  Through that study we discovered that some of the most well known and commonly used verses in the Bible are often used in a very different context than was intended or shallow when compared to the truth of the whole passage.  All too often, we are never weaned off of the milk that brings us to the truth and onto the meat.  Just like nuggets and fries, the basics are food and provide sustenance.  But we must move to better tasting, better for us, more rewarding food.  

The problem is that our culture loves nuggets of things, as opposed to the whole picture.  We quote just a line or two from a movie, every company has a small catch phrase, and even some of the greatest songs have lyrics which can be repeated in short little phrases.  Single Bible verses are helpful for meditation and building blocks, but to truly understand Christianity, you have to go beyond and study it all.  

The Bible our guide book for life and our opportunity to know the Creator.  Though the presidential candidates may try, describing a person in one word just doesn’t quite do it.  While the word or small phases may be true, you miss the depth of who the person really is.  To grow in our faith and truly know God, we must push past the little sayings and reach for the fullness of the who He is.  I hope to do just that as I share thoughts about my faith and the Bible.  I have only one semester of seminary, so I don’t come with fancy words and high thoughts.  I pray that this will be the fullness of the truth, without the formality.

So what?!  Next time you hear or think of a Bible verse, go look it up (use an online search if you don’t know the reference) and see if your thoughts on that verse change based on the context.

I know this neutral living is not how we are called to live as true believers, but the desire to seek Him isn’t there. I long for other things in my life; good job, close friends, involvement with youth. In all of these, I do my best to bring God into the picture and spent time praying, but it seems like something is missing. I am missing out on the simple relationship with God- getting to know Him and enjoy spending time with Him. Not involved in an activity or a pursuit, but just growing in my knowledge and the image of Him.

The problem is that this does not come naturally to me…to anyone. At times I want this more than others, but keeping the passion for Him is hard. I was reminded of this during church this past week as we looked at the story of the prodigal son. Both sons had the wrong sort of relationship with the Father and what they both had in common was a desire for the things the Father gave, but not the Father Himself. The younger son wanted freedom and the inheritance from his Father. The older son wanted his rightful due for his obedience. Neither of them simply wanted to be with the Father.

I am keenly aware of my lacking desire and am wanting to change that. Sitting on my shelf is a book that may help. John Piper’s “When I Don’t Desire God” seems like a perfect fit for someone like me who finds themselves, more often than not, lacking a desire for God Himself. I pray that God will use this book to change my thinking and desire Him always. As I take this journey, I will share my thoughts both on the book and what it means for my life. And I pray this journey may reach beyond me to help you grow in your relationship with God.

Mark Bates, of Village7 PCA church gives a great example in his sermon from 9/5/10. When sharing the salvation message, we have an affinity to use the picture drowning and God throwing out the life line and all we have to do is grab hold of it and we will be saved. Preaching from Ephesians 2, Pastor Bates revealed how wrong this picture is. Paul clearly states that we were NOT drowning in our sins; we were DEAD! We have swallowed the waters of sin, died and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. God, in His mercy and love, dove to the depths, raised us up, and made us alive in Christ. A dead man can’t do anything. We can’t save ourselves, even one bit. It is ALL God’s work.

While I could go on with this topic, I feel there is a greater, general lesson to apply. It is all too easy to take the rough, tough Truth of God and reduce it down to little analogies, stories and sayings that sound good but lose their connection of the Truth. Another way we do this is quoting scripture out of context. Except for the most of the Proverbs, verses were not written to stand alone. This is also easy to do with some topical Bible studies.

All of these methods of understanding Christianity are simply snapshots. They are stand alone pictures, viewing the Truth in one way, distorting it. Remember, the Bible claims to be “living and active.” Snapshots are far from that. (Pardon the Harry Potter reference- I’m reading them right now) In the wizarding world of Harry Potter, pictures are not action-less; the subjects in them move in a repetitive cycle. While this is a step in the right direction, it still does not capture the living aspect of the Truth. The Truth is like real life compared to these two. It is living, active and real. Snapshots just won’t do.

What snapshot do you have of God? Christ? Christianity? What truth do you believe in? Is it one founded on sayings and those few verses you have memorized? Seek for yourself the Truth of God and you may just find your eyes opened.

As I grew up, the world of beautiful jewelry grew exponentially beyond those beads. I can oh and ah over diamond necklaces and admire the beauty in the variety of precious stones in jewelry. The colors are more natural, the sparkle is real and the price tag…well, we all know that is high. All of these attributes of real jewels give them worth. While the little bead necklaces carried sentimental value because they were made with my hands, pearls, and diamonds have value because of what they are.

Besides learning about truly valuable jewelry as I have grown up, I have also seen how similar my dreams are to brightly colored beads on yarn. As a child, I dreamed of a prince who would sweep me off my feet, friends to laugh and spend time with, and a life of emotional bliss. My view of God was also one of those brightly colored beads. He was this “person” in the sky who was in control of everything and “wanted a personal relationship with me.”

Life has gotten much too complicated for bead necklaces on yarn. There are complexities I never imagined. My prince has come, but there are so many emotional issues as two people work towards being united in marriage; you don’t always feel like a prince and princess. Good, close friends are hard to find, and once you find them, hard to keep as life sends you in different directions. There are tensions internally as I wrestle to figure out who I am. There are tensions externally as I learn to live and work with those I don’t like and honor my parents yet be an adult.

And then there is my relationship with God. Only now can I truly say He is incomprehensible. Justice and mercy. Disciple and love. Standards and grace. A relationship with Him is not easy, especially when my humanness can’t know Him even half-way. Though desiring to follow His will for my life, it isn’t as simple as “do as your parents say” or “do unto others as you would have the do unto you.” Needless to say, life is not at all what I thought it would be.

What I thought was valuable as a child is now worthless. I need a redefinition of what has worth in this life. The value I once placed on my bead-necklace dreams will not work. God, give me a mind to understand the diamond dreams you have for me. There are more complex, but so much more real than all the things that I once held dear. Help me give up on my bead necklaces and in return recognize and accept your sparkling, real dreams for me. For these jewels are Your plan for me; true beauty which reflects Your worth.

I wonder if we place ourselves on the beach of this sea, looking out and remembering our sins. Satan calls us forward and God calls us back. We take steps just barely into the water, believing that a little guilt and remorse is healthy. What we don’t realize is that this sea has a powerful undertow. I got swept away and was drowning, overcome with what I had done. The chains beat against me and I thrashed and cried and couldn’t breathe. But God was there to pull me out and the rope He used was my boyfriend. On the beach I got my breath back but facing God was still a challenge. I knew I needed Him but I was still too close to the sea with seaweed chains hanging on to me. The power that had pulled me under was still on my face. Yet my boyfriend pulled me away from the sea and toward God. I was able to face God as I should- guiltless.
This sea is a beautiful thing God has made to separate our sins from us. But as with most things God has created, Satan has corrupted it. The power and forgiveness of the sea of forgetfulness as the waves crash against the shore are wonderful. But the undertow on the beach and in the shallow is dangerous. Beware of “healthy guilt” for there is no such thing once you are forgiven!

“The Holy Spirit also testifies to us about this. First he says:
 ”This is the covenant I will make with them
      after that time, says the Lord.
   I will put my laws in their hearts,
      and I will write them on their minds.” Then he adds:
   ”Their sins and lawless acts
      I will remember no more.”
And where these have been forgiven, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin. Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.”
~Hebrews 10:15-23

I wish I had blogged, or at least journaled, during this time period. I have chewed over many thoughts about Christian living, my background, forgiveness and Christianity outside the cookie cutter. While these thoughts may not be direct and raw like they were at the time, I know they will color any following blogs.

“[I] Feel your presence filling up my lungs with oxygen” I am now attending Denver Seminary working toward an MDiv in Youth and Family Ministries. I hope to blog my reflections on class and other things going on in my life. Welcome back to my reflections on life and faith and learning to live a life Not My Own.