I stole this title from John Piper’s book by the same name because it is very fitting for my spiritual life right now. So many times in my life I have found myself moving along, not falling into temptation, but not seeking God. It’s a fairly neutral life which acknowledges God as present, in control, and available, but does not actively seek Him.
I know this neutral living is not how we are called to live as true believers, but the desire to seek Him isn’t there. I long for other things in my life; good job, close friends, involvement with youth. In all of these, I do my best to bring God into the picture and spent time praying, but it seems like something is missing. I am missing out on the simple relationship with God- getting to know Him and enjoy spending time with Him. Not involved in an activity or a pursuit, but just growing in my knowledge and the image of Him.
The problem is that this does not come naturally to me…to anyone. At times I want this more than others, but keeping the passion for Him is hard. I was reminded of this during church this past week as we looked at the story of the prodigal son. Both sons had the wrong sort of relationship with the Father and what they both had in common was a desire for the things the Father gave, but not the Father Himself. The younger son wanted freedom and the inheritance from his Father. The older son wanted his rightful due for his obedience. Neither of them simply wanted to be with the Father.
I am keenly aware of my lacking desire and am wanting to change that. Sitting on my shelf is a book that may help. John Piper’s “When I Don’t Desire God” seems like a perfect fit for someone like me who finds themselves, more often than not, lacking a desire for God Himself. I pray that God will use this book to change my thinking and desire Him always. As I take this journey, I will share my thoughts both on the book and what it means for my life. And I pray this journey may reach beyond me to help you grow in your relationship with God.
